Sunday, March 24, 2013

Pleasuring Women According to the Scriptures

Today's Daughters Of Abraham started with a Jewish joke.  I have never heard this coming from a Christian pulpit, but I intend to use it.  This surprising religious humor illustrates, for me, the difference (I think, as a Christian pastor) between Judaism's more healthy & open attitude about sexuality compared with the more uptight, restrictive, and shaming (in my opinion) Christian view of sexuality.

A Rabbi and a Catholic priest are sharing a theological conversation and meal.  The priest says to the rabbi, "Come on, you can tell me, have you ever tasted pork?  It is really delicious.  You don't know what you are missing."

The rabbi confessed, "Well, yes, I have to admit that one time... and only one time.. I tried bacon.  It was delicious."

The rabbi leaned over to the priest.  "So, Father, you took a vow to be celibate.  Did you ever slip?"

The priest had to confess as well.  "Well, yes, there was this one time.  Yes, I sinned."

"You gotta admit, the rabbi said, "Sex is better than pork!"

After a good laugh we turned to the Hebrew Scriptures.  In Exodus 21:10 we read the Law concerning female slaves: "If he takes another wife to himself, he shall not diminish the food, clothing, or conjugal rights of the first wife." Under Jewish Law, if a man does not please his woman, she may divorce him!  The rabbis actually made a recommendation that a scholar needed to please his wife at least 14 times a month, while a laborer (who is physically more tired) needs to please her fewer times per month.

No Calvinist or Lutheran ever heard the above commentary about Exodus!

Islam also instructs that in love making both participants are to please one another.  D. explained that Muslim sex is like chocolate cake.  Both are wonderful, great, but should be enjoyed under certain circumstances.

In the Qur'an sexual pleasure is likened to the closest understanding that we will ever have about Heaven.  Unfortunately, in many current Muslim societies, people are so terrified of breaking boundaries that it is difficult for Muslims to enjoy sex as it is meant to be celebrated in the Qur'an.

Okay, Christian sex... since Jesus says nothing explicit about human sexuality (other than to love one another) many Christians turn to the writings of St. Paul.  Here's what he says in
1 Corinthians 7:1-15.  I have highlighted how extreme his admonitions are compared to Jewish and Islamic teachings:

1 Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7 I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.

8 Now to the unmarried[a] and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Somehow in verse 5 Satan is connected with sexual desire and pleasure.  No wonder many Christians (including clergy) suffer from problems of sexual shame, confusion, abuse, addiction to pornography, pedophilia, and misogyny, to name just a few dysfunctions.   Why is Paul's commentary about Jesus' ministry lifted up, and included in Sunday readings?  Why in all three Abrahamic traditions does an individual's interpretation (historically a male) assume more importance than the original teachings?  (In other words, if Jesus does not speak about sex, why should Paul?)  Tradition, culture, and history often use commentary to put forward their own agenda.
             Hey, what about her husband's behavior being a threat to their marriage?





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